By Freya Walker, PGR Intern for Research Communities and PGR in Art History/History
The first week of my PhD was quite rough. I distinctly remember attending an event, walking into the room filled with what seemed like hundreds of people sitting at tables engaged in conversation. There were no chairs left, and I awkwardly stood in the room until a lovely woman took pity on me and came over to chat. Unfortunately, the damage was done; I left about two minutes later, went home to bed, and cried.
Reflecting on this experience from nearly two years ago feels quite bizarre. I can still recall how sick with anxiety I felt and how it reaffirmed what I had believed all along, that I would make no friends and be on my own. How wrong I was!
I am now the President of the PGR Society, an Intern in the Research Culture & Researcher Development Team in Research Services, and a Graduate Teaching Assistant (GTA), while successfully being in my second year of PhD studies. I can honestly say that I am the happiest I have ever been and have made many new connections and friends across various departments. So how did I get here?
I learned the power of saying yes and being open to any and all new experiences. I recently attended the opera after receiving a free ticket; I couldn’t tell you what the show was about, but that’s what made it the most enjoyable aspect. I remember how nervous I felt meeting Katherine (the former President of the PGR Society). Now, one year later, I find myself at her girlfriend’s 25th birthday party.
The point of all this is that none of this would have happened if I had not been open to opportunities. When it comes to finding our communities, we need to make an effort to discover them for ourselves. We need to ask someone we meet at the gym for a coffee, or connect with someone in a workshop or offer to plan teaching sessions together. Even attending events alone can sometimes be even better than going with others as it helps you out of your safety net.
What I mean is that community exists, whether it’s accessed through joining a society, socialising with your colleagues, or even chatting to someone at the gym. You just need to be willing to seek it out. In Shon Faye’s 2025 memoir Love in Exile, Faye explores the theme of friendship as the ultimate form of romantic love. She argues (very convincingly) that friendship is a source of “intellectual stimulation, encouragement [and], the challenge to be a wiser, better person” (p140) The older I get, the more these words resonate with me. From my time spent being a researcher, yes, I will recall my topic and perhaps one or two books I have read, but what I have truly come to value is the connections I have made through my PhD, the friends I have gained. I believe this is why community is so important.
At Glasgow we are lucky, we have many communities and networks to join, and you can find some of them here on our dedicated webpage.
I have heard countless stories of people starting their PhD with the sole focus of doing their research and getting their qualifications. They do not want to make friends or socialise, but then, as the research becomes more tiresome, they realise they do not have anyone to confide in or an additional outlet to provide relief and sustain them. This is why I value community so much, even just going out with someone for a coffee or a chat, and not even touching on your research, can be so beneficial. It enables you to get take a break, get perspective, unwind, and think differently – all very valuable for sustaining momentum for your research and preventing you becoming so closely enmeshed with your work, that you wrap up your self-worth in the quality of the results you produce.
What stops us may also be fear of rejection, of someone not wanting to be your friend, of someone finding you peculiar or annoying; and trust me, I’ve experienced it all. Yet, if you never step beyond the confines of your comfort and put yourself out there, how will you ever find those who find you intriguing, exciting, and who resonate on the same frequency as you?
While many of us value the aspect of research that includes obtaining results, how you develop socially is equally as important – it takes more than just completing some research, to understand how to navigate a research career. The jobs I have had in the past, plus the accrued experiences I am making in the present day, have proven to me the importance of so-called soft skills (although I hate that phrase – in the research Culture and Researcher Development team we would call them by their specific names such as communication, relationhip building, self-governance, and leadership skills). Moreover, happiness has been proven to enhance productivity as has planning breaks in the working day and so by joining a community, taking a break, and engaging in what you love, you will actually improve your research.
Additionally, going into situations without expectations of personal gratification for yourself has also allowed me to value just communicating and engaging with others for its own worth, as well as realising the value that I myself bring to conversations. Even if I find I haven’t gotten along with the person or it wasn’t exactly what I expected, no opportunity to engage with others is not worth my time. I often begrudge ‘networking’ events for the transactional nature of the relationship, preferring small informal encounters. Whilst I believe networking is amazing for meeting new people and having new experiences, it’s always best to remind yourself there should be zero expectations in or for these relationships. I find this is how I am able to interact with people authentically and without feeling that I need to ‘obtain’ something from them.
Therefore, the takeaway message of this blog is to say yes! Recently, my best friend and I agreed that 2025 is the year of just doing anything! She has taken up squash and I recently went to a Bollywood dance class where I realised, I cannot dance at all! But this doesn’t really matter to me! The mere fact that I was open to these new opportunities is what I believe makes community. So even if you see something that perhaps out of your comfort zone or something you never thought you would try, just say yes!
The Auditorium: a research culture and researcher development blog 